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2021-05-14 09:21 am
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If We Were Villains

I recently finished the book If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio and oh my gosh was it amazing. Despite not normally enjoying realistic fiction, and especially not irresponsible college students, I really enjoyed the book. It's about these seven theatre students at a prestigious college. After someone is murdered the book follows how the students deal with the murder, how everything fits together and breaks at the same time. Sure there's a murder, but they're students, they aren't the ones solving the murder, they're simply the ones getting caught up in it. It takes place in 1997 if I recall correctly but it doesn't feel like it. You're so caught up in the story and the lives of the students that the world fades away. It has a sort of philosophical feel, like this is ones of those stories actually meant to tell a lesson and meant to be analyzed, as opposed to all those other stories we have to do in school. I don't know how I found the book, but I'm glad I did. It was beautiful and made me tear up so much at the end.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-11 02:19 pm
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Israel-I Need Some Happiness

Stuff is happening in Israel right now and I don't like. It's just absolutely terrifying to think about. I hate conflicts involving soldiers but at least I can understand them. I hate bombs to much though, no matter which side is using them. They just make me feel icky and yucky and absolutely horrible. Also! Ariella may or may not be coming over on Thursday and I really really hope she can because I need to hug her.
In other news I wrote out some stuff for a Paranatural Demon Hunters AU aka Isaac is a demon hunter not all of them. So in this universe demons and stuff also exists, and Isaac hunts them. He knows about holy water and rituals and all that stuff. Now that I think about it his rain probably counts as holy water because it's technically totally pure and from the cloud. (Demons get hurt by rain, dunno if they do, but yes in this universe.) The demons are usually a muddy color, and can flow to and from the shadows. They feed on negative emotions, and are created by tragedies. Which is how Isaac became a hunter, got attacked by them a lot. He has a protection tattoo now though. It hurt to get it but worth it not to get attacked because he lost control of his emotions. The club is walking and sees a demon and Mr. Spender assumes it's just a spirit but it ends up nearly killing him because negative emotions. Isaac has to save him and is really good at it. Everyone is surprised and he explains how he's fought the demons for a while. Cut forward to them getting attacked by a vampire like thing and getting stuck in a building, Isaac shoots spectral arrows and hits the thing with deadly accuracy and explains how vampires and vamps are different things, as well as monsters and demons. Monsters are things that were originally human or were partially human, like vampires (so Davey), while demons are things that were never human and were usually born without help, like vamps (original creepy thing). There are some crossover like this, so there are two types of ghosts and some others as well. When fighting demons Isaac uses spectral energy a lot better than he's shown before, because he's used it his entire life. Spectral energy is the best weapon against demons since it's pure energy. As a hunter Isaac figured out how to use his energy, but never really became a spectral until later. He carried a little bracelet that helped him make what he had to. It's also why he's so good at fighting, he had to fight without being able to see his weapons before, it's a lot easier when you can see them. Isaac doesn't think of this as breaking his vow of nonviolence because there was never an option to talk to demon, who are controlled by their emotions. Isaac's mom is a witch, and can make potions and stuff. At first she didn't approve of Isaac fighting them, but she realized it was better if he could fight them since they would always be attracted to him, so she lets him as long as he doesn't go out looking for fights and he agrees because he doesn't want to fight. Isaac's dad was overshadowed by a demon ghost for many years, which is what makes Isaac special, he technically has demon blood flowing through him. Isaac accidentally killed his dad when he was younger, he didn't mean too. He tried to do a ritual he found in a book because he thought his dad was possessed, didn't go too well. The police assumed it was a heart attack, as that's what the signs were. Isaac confessed to his mom, and she told him everything would go ok. Isaac's step dad doesn't entirely know about the witch and demon hunting but he's fine with it, and a really good listener. You would think Isaac would tell his parents about being a spectral but his mom hates spectrals. There's always been a spectral demon hunter divide, with Isaac being one of the very few that's both. So he keeps that a secret, and instead comes up with excuses and stuff. Luckily, "I ran into a demon," is an acceptable excuse for a lot of stuff.
You are a witch if you do witchy stuff.
Isaac’s mom knows her way around a sword.
Yeah, unlike being a spectral, anyone can become a demon hunter. The title is honestly only there so people can get them and yell stuff like "we need a demon hunter!" Messing with spectral energy without being a spectral takes a lot of practice, but everyone can do it, since everyone technically has spectral energy.
And secrets. I didn't mention it earlier but demons are attracted to secrets, so, yeah. In this AU the Shadow in Spender is a demon that's possessing him but is splintered, so it doesn't really have a goal except to get out. Isaac knows, he's gotten good at know demons and stuff, but doesn't say anything because he doesn't really want them to know he's a demon hunter.
He makes a spectral bow and shoots arrows from it. It's what clues people in to him not being truthful, because only experienced spectrals and make constructs that stay in the correct shape when not touching human.
His long range weapon depends on how long. If he can reasonable see the target he usually just uses a spec shot, it works well enough. If he need accuracy he uses a bow, like against vamps which are really quick, he needs to be able to aim precisely. And a gun is possible, but Isaac's never used a real gun, and you really need to handle the real weapon to be able to get a good spectral equivalent. Demon hunting training is different from spectral training. They tend to think of spectral energy as a sort of matter that can harden, thus they tend to be able to make their constructs more solid, especially since they can't see it's naturally pliant. It hits as hard as a normal arrow, and how solid it stays depends on how hard the shooter is trying to keep it solid. After it hits, most simply let it dissolve, after all keeping it solid does nothing to hurt the thing even more. If Isaac were to accidentally shoot a human he could focus and keep the arrow solid until they reached a hospital so the person didn't bleed out. If the arrow stays solid and the shooter isn't focusing on that, you're just screwed because that's a really strong spectral/demon hunter.
Uh, a flashbang only works if the person you're throwing it as can see spectral energy, and I would assume is highly impractical since you'd have to pack a lot of energy in a small shape and then put it in a shell, and then break only the shell and let the spectral energy go. Much easier to just carry around normal flashbangs. ("Is your bag smoking Isaac?" "Oh heck there goes my flashbang." "You're flashbang???")
It's just a normal tattoo shop, Mayview isn't big enough to have a whole shop for demon hunters. Big places like New York probably would though. Some of the guys know, some don't it honestly depends on who's currently working. The guy Isaac specifically went to knows that demons exist because Isaac saved him, but doesn't know much more. The last guy who owned the shop was a demon hunter themselves, which is why they needed a replacement. The tattoo guy is good though, so the symbol is pretty clean. It's totally in the symbol and Isaac. The little symbol on his shoulder is kind of a mini ritual which Isaac can activate using spectral energy. Usually it takes years to be able to activate the protection things whenever a person feels strong negative emotions, but luckily being a spectral Isaac naturally does this. The ward traps the negative emotions and stops demons from sensing them.
Isaac knows a lot of the shopkeepers and stuff who used to be demon hunters. There are different levels of hunters, most only hunt when absolutely necessary and instead focus their time on helping make people happy. Lots of psychiatrists and therapists. So many of the shopkeepers are light hunters that help Isaac and teach him about other stuff. There are one or two other hunters he runs into, but they aren't really friends. Demons don't really attack that much, unlike spirits, so there really isn't much need for big battles. A lot of it is smushing tiny creatures in the shadows. Isaac does find a lot of cryptid friends though, mostly because he accidentally found them while searching for a demon. The amount of times he ended up with Cody and Lisa is uncountable. His mom has a whole witch club. She doesn't do book club, it's witch club, though the codename is book club. Many of the witches, such as the lady in the occult store, are in the death cult, although his mom isn't. Isaac hates the death cult because they cause half the demons to come but his mom says that it's important they are there.
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2021-05-09 01:59 pm
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Prompt Table

I'm doing a prompt table writing thing that's angst as well as AU's. So far I got BL Isaac and Isolation, already written up. I got arena as one and didn't really know what to do so I went with the Magic AU which still need a better name. Cryptid Jews has heat exhaustion because I didn't really know what to do, maybe cooking for something? Fame AU gets Forced to Face Fear because there are so many options for that, leaning towards Cody finding Isaac nearly dead. Guitar Isaac gets Forced to Hurt Someone, and I'm in the middle of writing it, though dunno if I like it. Monster's Guide gets blood loss because Cody is a vampire and sometimes I do go with the obvious. Magnus Archives crossover gets hostages because, bH, they get kidnapped a scary amount in that podcast. The Power Ranger AU thing (What are we calling that?) has On The Run because I can do that with Isaac hiding. The AU with my Threads of Fate story has loss of hearing because it didn't really go with anything else, no clue what I'm doing here. Trans Isaac has humiliation because once again I am lazy. Queen of the Spirits Isaac (My gosh I need better names for these AU's) has minor Illness/Injury because I think that could be fun. The last prompt was Substance Addiction, so clearly I had to go with the W AU. So much angst.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-07 07:04 pm

Got It!

I got my second COVID shot! We got there a bit late, but there were only three people in front of us. We then proceeded to wait there for two hours because the person who was supposed to handle the shots couldn't make it, so someone else had to get sent over. Two hecking hours... Also happened to be around lunch time but I get motion sick, so I had some apple juice while we drove home. I missed both my important classes of the day, and decided to just skip Homeroom because of how emotionally tired I was. Then I watched a movie in Spanish called Unknown Origins, though the Spanish title is Orgenes Secretos, which directly translates to Secret Origins. It's a movie about a series of murders happening that are recreating super hero origins. It was really good, although the ending was a bit iffy. There are three main leads, David, Norma, and Jorge. David and Norma are supposed to have a whole romance going on, but it honestly is barely a blip on everything that's happening. David and Jorge are called boyfriends twice, and neither of then deny it. The first time they just don't say anything and the second time Jorge just says the conversation is private. The three mains are either best friends or in a poly relationship, there's no inbetween.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-07 08:45 am
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COVID Shot

I'm getting my second COVID shot today! Really exciting! Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow but it'll be worth it. And Ariella's parents are fully vaccinated next week! We're so close to being able to visit!
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-06 08:54 am

Magnus Archives/Paranatural

So I have this huge Magnus Archives and Paranatural AU where Isaac is an intern at the Magnus Archives and I just wrote this. Takes place around 165ish, but since it canonically takes place in a different universe there isn't really a specific place. Hope someone enjoys this!

[TAPE CLICKING ON.]
Martin: Hey, I see another person!
Jon: Martin, there are hundreds of people around us.
Martin: I mean one running straight towards us.
Jon: Oh, uh, I guess there is.
Martin: What do you mean you guess, there's someone running clear as day.
Jon: I couldn't tell they were coming.
Martin: That's...strange.
Isaac: Mr. Sims! Mr. Blackwood!
[AN OOF AS ISAAC TACKLES BOTH OF THEM, AND THEN MUFFLED CRYING.]
Jon: Isaac?
Isaac: I was stepping through the door to come here when suddenly everything tipped and turned and I was thrown out in this pitch blackness and there was no one around and I couldn't contact King C. and it felt cold and-
Martin: Deep breaths. You're going to hyperventilate. We literally have all the time in the world, so you can calm down.
Isaac: Ok.
Jon: Oh. *Oh.*
Martin: Jon what's wrong?
Jon: He has a statement.
Martin: Oh. That's not good.
Jon: I'm *know* Martin but it's very hard, especially since the Eye has never technically gotten a statement out of Isaac.
Isaac: I'm not telling my statement into the creepy tape recorder.
Martin: Isaac!
Isaac: It's my choice and you can't tell me they aren't creepy.
Jon: It's fine, he's right on both accounts.
Martin: So what? We're gonna travel through the apocalypse with you half distracted by Isaac's statement? That seems even less safe then what we're currently doing.
Isaac: Apocalypse?
Jon: Well I'm not going to force him. Besides, I'm sure at some point we'll find another statement I can do.
Isaac: I feel a little out of the loop now.
Martin: Do we really? The statements come at random. There is no rhyme or reason or even a pattern to when they come. And you have to do them before we move on. We don't know what would happen if you traveled around with a walking statement.
Jon: It's better than the alternative.
Isaac: I'll tell it. *If* I only tell you and not the tape recorder.
Jon: That's not how it works.
Isaac: The Eye can see through you, and you can know anything, there's no reason for you to need the recorder.
Martin: That's not what he means and you know it.
Isaac: Really, you *still* can't turn them off?
Jon: I'll learn to turn them off when you learn to stop seeing spirits.
Isaac: You have infinite knowledge and you still can't understand how being a spectral works.
Jon: I didn't need to use it. Georgie told me way back when I was staying with her. I was just too polite to call you out on it.
Isaac: You can't just stop seeing spirits!
Jon: Considering Georgie can do it and I can pull knowledge of at least a thousand other people who can, you are quite clearly a liar, especially since your name is on the list. And your friends as well.
Isaac: What?
Jon: You're friends, Isabel, Max, and Ed? Their names are also all on the list.
Martin: Oh don't faint please.
Isaac: I think I need to sit down.
Jon: We've wasted enough time, we need to be on our way to the Panopticon.
Martin: I hate to say this but Jon's right. Come on, you can tell us on the way.
Isaac: Tell you what? I'm not giving my statement.
Martin: But it's clear you have something to tell us regarding being a spectral.
[SILENCE SAVE FOR THE CRUNCH OF GRAVEL.]
Isaac: What I want to say could be a whole statement in of itself, but I guess the short version is that I'm pretty sure I'm from an alternate universe.
Jon: Don't be silly, alternate universes don't exist.
Isaac: Do you Know that or are you assuming?
[SOUNDS OF GRAVEL STOP.]
Martin: Jon?
Jon: Well I'll be, there *are* alternate universes.
Isaac: I'm not entirely crazy, that's something.
Martin: How is it possible that I continually get surprised by what the world throws at us?
Isaac: Because you never think things can get weirder and then it comes up with something you never even thought of.
Jon: Let's, let's keep walking.
[TAPE CLICKING OFF.]
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-04 09:01 am
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New Pokemon Snap

I just played the new Pokemon Snap with my brother and oh my gosh it was really fun! First run I think I took 52 pictures? I don't understand why the professor is called Mirror though, that's really weird. I am disappointed I can't take pictures of the Pokemon a the lab because there's an Eevee there! It's a lot of fun taking pictures and swiveling around and everything looks really pretty, though the info for pictures is a little weird. Some of it is good advice for scientific pictures, like getting as close as possible, centered, stuff like that. I don't think anyone plays the game with that in mind though, instead taking pictures that look pretty. And for pretty pictures there are different rules, like the line rule in which you draw a tic tac toe board on the picture and put important stuff on the lines and where they intersect. I don't particularly like that the Pokemon centered on is where the pointer is but I understand that. I'm hoping to play some more later!
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-03 08:32 pm
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English

I have had my third English teacher this for three classes and I have already cemented myself as the person who talks. We had a discussion during class and no one was talking, so I answered. I then stayed quiet for the next question to let other people talk. No one else did and so the teacher called on me, and I answered. The same thing happened for another question. I told my teacher that I wasn't answering to let others answer and they replied they knew but I was the only person that was replying.

Related to this, I've had three English teachers this year, all different genders. My first one was male, second female, third non-binary. Kind of impressive, the number as well.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-05-02 03:32 pm
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Something I Find Fun

 Wondering what teachers think of me is always fun. Sometimes they tell me when we're talking about other stuff. Me and Owen we're talking with my Sociology teacher and she mentioned a mock exam yesterday, and I told her I might not be able to make it because I had lots of other plans that day. She told me that I managed my time well and could trust me to do the mock exam on my own. (I did it earlier today.) She's not the first teacher to me this. I had my APUSH teacher tell me this as well. I manage my time horribly. I don't understand how I get everything done on time. By all logic I should be failing my classes and missing all my work, so I find it hilarious that everyone thinks I manage my time well. I've also had people say that I march to my own beat and stuff, and that works better. I do do that, like wearing neon pink pants, a shirt with a Peanuts design, and a leather jacket, as well as not giving a care as to who thinks what of me. Just something I find fun.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-03-30 10:33 am
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Sociology Textbook

 My sociology textbook is not helpful. It's assuming I know nothing about society. There is a learning objective in it that says, "Provide examples of how Americans may not be as “free” as they think." I'm not a professional, but I'm pretty sure I can explain how poverty traps families and how societal norms constrict people. Then we get this quote, "We vote in secret so that our choice of a candidate is made freely and without fear of punishment.  That is all true, but it is also possible to guess the candidate for whom any one individual will vote if enough is known about the individual." Or you could just look for the party they are associated with? If they're not registered as an individual, you can guess they'll vote for their candidate. This textbook feels like it was written for someone who doesn't understand society at all.
Then this paragraph is just statistics. I don't understand what is being proven here! "To illustrate this point, consider the 2008 presidential election between Democrat Barack Obama and Republican  John McCain. Suppose a room is filled with 100 randomly selected voters from that election. Nothing is known about them except that they were between 18 and 24 years of age when they voted. Because exit poll data found that Obama won 66% of the vote from people in this age group (http://abcnews.go.com/PollingUnit/ExitPolls), a prediction that each of these 100 individuals voted for Obama would be correct about 66 times and incorrect only 34 times. Someone betting $1 on each prediction would come out $32 ahead ($66 – $34 = $32), even though the only thing known about the people in the room is their age. " Oh gosh. The textbook is going on to say that Americans are free but also restrained because of this data and no? They're not? The data exists *because* the people voted that way, not because people voted that way due to the data. Just asked me why I don't face the back of an elevator while riding it. Because then I couldn't see the door open and floor number? That's a societal norm because it's coinvent to be able to see which floor it is, not because everyone else is doing it. I feel like by taking Sociology and Psychology at the same time, I'm just breaking everything. Only a chapter in and we've already gotten to the statistic that men succeed in more suicides than women though woman are more depressed due to the fact men are more likely to use firearms. Fun facts.

So far I quite like the debunking motif, which is basically the idea that sociology looks for the inconvenient and unconventional truths in society, like racism. Apparently there's a nicer name for social inequality called Vertical Social Structure. That makes it sound all neat and tidy, when it's really not. Sometimes you gotta use the dirty word when referring to society. At first I was dubious of personal vs. public problems, but when actually explained I quite like them. Personal problems are ones that can be attributed to a person, and the example they gave is unemployment. When the problem is small, only a few people unemployed, that can be ascribed as their fault. But when it's millions of people it's the publics problem, because there are many people who can and do want to work. It wasn't the people's fault there wasn't work available, it was the public as a whole's fault. I am now getting examples showing identical twins, and now I feel the need to throw the Psych textbook at this one. Because there's a scary amount of genetics that decide our personality. Do approve of the textbook saying crime is mostly societies fault and not the individuals though. Willian Ryan pointed out Americans blame the victims instead of the system and oh my gosh. How the heck do I get the guy to talk to all those idiots who believe poverty and stuff is a personal failing?

I really don't like Conflict Theory. I feel like it makes a lot of assumptions about people and conflicts, that aren't always the case. Rational Choice Theory aka Utilitarism actually sounds like it could be a sound theory based on the base, but it also needs a lot of work to understand how humans work. All these theories kind of assume humans are predictable, and most of the time they are, but big change comes when something unpredictable happens. Oh did it just try to talk to me about Lord of The Flies? Heck no. That was a sucky book that is one of the least realistic books I have ever seen. That is not how kids act. One guy is trying to explain how no social norms leads to more suicide. He's a bit of a crackpot. Less social norms is what we need. Though we should keep the don't act like a jerk bits. And he just tried to say that because Catholic's doctrine specifically condemns suicide that explains why Protestants have a higher suicide rate. If someone is gonna die, I really don't think they're afraid of the consequences. This Functionalist theory compares society to our body, and unless your body is constantly breaking, doesn't work with itself, and is never truly working, I don't think it is, though now that I say that I do know someone who's like that. Oh, apparently Carl Marx wanted the fall of capitalism. Pretty good goal to have. The more I read the more good ideas Marx has about capitalism and what it's doing to American society. The textbook almost just said propaganda that the American system is just is what's keeping the working class from revolting. At least, I hope that's what it was trying to say, because it's true.

And chapter thankfully done. Now I get to watch Crash Course which I absolutely hate. Way too bloody fast for me.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-03-04 11:44 am
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3/4/21

 Wow, I really should have been writing some more, but nothing particularly interesting happened. In Comp Sci I beat a coding problem that I had trouble with before. Got it down in twenty minutes which I'm still proud of. In Gov. we had a socratic seminar which I think went pretty well. We agreed the US government sucks really badly. Experimental Jazz is a thing apparently, and actually kinda good. I have to make a PSA, except I have to do it from a list of topics they give me, which is really annoying. If they had any faith in my at all I'd be able to choose my own topic. I'm watching this new show called Omniscient and it's a thriller about a girl who's father was murdered in a city where everyone is watched. It's definitely more mature, but I'm liking it so far.
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2021-02-26 09:57 am
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2/26/21

I don't have a fifth period today, so I got some Psych work done that I needed to do. I'm reading some more of the Magnus Archives and am on 134. I really don't like the Extinction. It's an apocalypses and I have the really bad feeling it's gonna come through. This is one of the reasons I'm reading instead of listening to it. It's easier to not get freaked out. Poor Martin. He needs some hugs. And oh gosh! He's getting some backbone! Peter is also clearly fed up with Sims incompetence, which is honestly completely fair. And Martin is standing up for Sims. That's so cute. Aw, Martin was the one throwing tape recorders down to help. Sims needs to realize how much of an idiot he is and give Martin what he deserves. Episode 125 looks really interesting. We finally get the third Daedalus person and hopefully Sims realizing he's an idiot. Manuela is certainly a piece of work. I know I'm supposed to know who Maxwell Rayner is, but I don't have a clue at all. It mentioned two of the other weird families, so I guess that explains why such weird stuff was going on. And it's time for Psych.

I had to explain what fanfic was to my teacher. Quite an interesting way to start the day. As well as my friend, let's call her Rosie, asked me where I was sitting since I have my camera on. My walls all look the same, so no matter where I sit my background looks almost identical. I am not sitting on my bed, I have a weird foam fold-out thing I sit on instead. We are also back to the nature vs. nurture, this time involving intelligence. One good thing that we're talking about is Growth Mindset. You can learn people. Take the time to try something new and practice, because your brain is a muscle. Try try again. Took my test and got an 8/10, which is good enough for me, considering the two I got wrong were two I was confused on. I understand my friend wants more time, but she needs to realize that we aren't going to have that much time on the AP test, so she's gotta realize that and deal with it.

Ok, I just had the most embarrassing encounter ever. I was talking with Owen after Psych again, eating lunch, doing normal stuff. My Sapta brought over michloach manot, which are gift baskets for Purim, which is today. I made a reference to being sad about not being able to make hamentaschen this year, when Owen asks what they are. I get really confused because I brought them in last year. We talk a bit more before I realize, this is a different Owen. He's not the guy I sat next to in English. In fact, I never had any interaction with this guy before going into online schooling. I've been talking to him with a familiarity and he had no clue who I was. We spent a good half an hour just in utter disbelief. I can't believe it. I thought he was my friend! I mean, I did think it was a bit weird we hit it off so well, and his voice was deeper than I remembered, but both things were easily dismissible because of the switch to being online. I just can't believe myself. Chemistry is happening now but I'm not over it.

Chem went by fine. I did the problems. Nothing particularly interesting happening in Homeroom. We played Name That Tune, which is really fun. The first one we did was mostly Bruno Mars and Katey Perry, which is my jam, so that was fun. It's time to get ready for Shabbat now, so I guess that's end of this for today.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-02-23 08:34 pm
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2/23/21-Part two

 I got through Hebrew School a lot easier than I thought I would. We had a guest speaker who was talking about Judaism and LGBTQ+. Usually it's pretty both and stuff, but he was a good speaker. I did get distracted and go off and do other stuff though, but that's more because I knew most of what he was saying. I got the rest of bH's present written because I forgot her birthday was tomorrow! I'm gonna have to type that up tomorrow as well, because I have passed the point of me making sense. I also came up with a D&D idea though. Everyone is a Jew, and they all have to work together to get ready for a holiday, I'm thinking Passover because that would be the holiday that involves the most stuff, though Sukkot could also be fun. There are a whole bunch of tasks that need to get done, like making the food, setting the table, throwing out the hametz. But of course things get in your way, like annoying aunts and uncles, no one ever being where they're supposed to, and even just cooking in general. I feel like it could be really fun. And Purim! Purim is in two days! We always invite a whole bunch of people over to make hamentaschen but I guess we aren't doing that this year. Very sadly. I guess I'll just share a bunch of stories about past years this year. Now I gotta start getting ready for bed.
rubyya: Drawing of a girl with brown hair and eyes, holding a book, with fairy wings in the background. (Default)
2021-02-23 09:15 am

2/23/21-Part one

 First post! Exciting! Nothing much to say, just what's happened today.

Well, I managed to scare myself while typing up a story. I've found writing Isaac from Paranatural having the same fears really helps at times. The hard part is that for most stories I write them twice, first on paper and then type them up. This is all well and dandy, and helps when I leave out important words, it's not particularly fun when I get to revisit really big fears and such. But there's Isabel and Isaac fluff later, so it gets better. Isabel and Isaac fluff always makes things better. I also have a super secret Kyuranger project I'm working on. I'm really excited about it, and I hope I can actually write it, since sometimes I plan stuff out and then feel like I can't write it. It's gonna be a lot but I'm really excited about it. Totodile over on Discord helped a whole bunch. They are so hecking awesome.

Psych class is so meh. It has the chance to be awesome and fun, especially with the people I have in my class. I love them so much. Then we had to do a Kahoot type thing. I hate them so bloody much. They stress me out to no end, because they're timed and often I would argue with the answers. We also don't particularly learn anything, since we just go over the chapter we've read beforehand. We're also doing this weird thing where a student teaches us about some terms. We've only had it done once before and I found it eh. It was Owen though, and I like him, and it got us chatting about Sudoku, so that was a point. Speaking of I have a sudoku from him to fight with. We'll see what happens with that. Kid keeps getting disconnected and is all staticy. Not gonna be fun. We are talking about Down Syndrome, which is a good thing. There was a video about a golfer and she seemed really happy. Correlation does not mean causation folks. We are now talking about serial killers. She's into true crime, and that's a good thing, but we don't need to learn about them in the short hour we have in class. twins are certainly interesting to learn about, and how similar they can be even when raised apart. Me and a friend are sending snarky comments to each other during class, because it's really not interesting, and it's the best. Snarky snark about the not very good teacher. We're gonna learn more about mental disorders, which is good, because that's what I mind most interesting about Psych. Friends are talking about ethics. So much better than the class. We're talking about a whole bunch of random stuff and it's making me really happy. The small group that's here is such an awesome group. I could talk with them for hours. Ended up talking about D&D which is awesome. We're just ranting and talking about whatever and I love this so much.

We talked so much none of us really had time to get lunch, but I think that was really ok for me. It was nice to talk to them for a while, as if we were in the building. Especially the guy. We had a weird relationship, and it's always good to know that he feels the same way I do. Good sarcasm buddies. And the whole thing happened because both of them wanted to tell me something after class which I must admit made me feels loved. A few minutes into our discussion out teacher in the zoom muted herself and turned off her camera and we all assumed she left. Spoiler alert, she didn't. We were all talking about leaving since we realized how late it was when she unmuted and turned her camera back on and said we talked about interesting stuff. Not that we were talking about anything she would disapprove of, we just didn't realize she was there.

Chemistry always starts with a joke. Today's was What's A Chemist's Favorite Type Of Music? There were two answers, Heavy Metal and Rock 'n Mole. We don't have Homeroom today due to a suicide prevention thing, during which time I am certain I will be typing here a whole bunch. Talking about suicide just makes me cry. I really enjoy my Chemistry teachers though. At least I get to spend more time with them. We're splitting into two groups to have both teachers teaching, which makes sense. I hope I'm in the room that has no clue how to do dimensional analysis, because I don't understand it in the slightest. I shouldn't be that bad at it, it's basically just baking, and yet I can't seem to get it. I thought the breakout room of six people was really small before I remembered we only have fifteenish people in the class. We are a tiny class. Ratios are going to be the death of me. Especially here. dimensional analysis is being explained, and my gosh, why is there so much canceling out? It's like fractions but extended. After learning about them again I change my statement. It's like adding ratios to fractions. I very much do not like the method, though the method I'm doing is probably really complicated. On the brightside I've been getting the right answers lately, so that's good.

I'm sure the counseling department thought it was a nice idea to have them available during the Signs of Suicide Homeroom lesson, except I hate my counselor. There are so many more teachers I would rather talk to than any of them. Heck, this is almost exactly the reason I'm starting up this diary. As a place to talk through stuff that I struggle with or things that would make me cry talking out loud. Instead I'm going to use this time to tell a story. And maybe write a bit about how Isaac attempting suicide would fit with his character and also make me really sad. A few years ago I was talking with a friend, and she mentioned being worried about one of her friends. I didn't even know the kid. She had noticed that her friend was wearing longer sleeves more often, and thought she saw cuts on her arms. I told my friend she could tell a counselor, because better a false alarm than it actually being something. My friend was too scared to go, so I asked if she'd go if I was moral support. She said yes, so that lunch period we went to the counselor and told them. I never did find out what happened to the kid, but my friend never brought it back up, so I'm hopeful that it was a false alarm, or she got the help she needed. That took a lot less time to type than I thought it would because I'm a fast typer. So, Isaac. My child. I love him but he needs some help. In comic he's just so full of self-hatred. It's good to see Isabel slowly opening up to him. He needs people to open up to, and to open up to him. Hopefully we'll see more of that happening, and hopefully he'll find a way to manage his anger. There are two things I could see happening with him, both of which are really sad. He's already tried to leave the club but come back because of Isabel, but I'm scared he's going to leave again after he learns a bunch of stuff because of how he disagrees with it. I'm also scared he might attempt suicide, because he has the anger, he feels he has all the reasons too. So many things could go wrong. And I ended up writing another part of my Triggers series. There's now a story about body image, zombie apocalypses, AND suicide. It's just a bundle of joy.