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English Class
Jun. 15th, 2021 08:30 pmToday I looked at the notes on my English Common Task and was pleasantly surprised. Because of a weird thing a different English teacher was grading my work, one who I've never had, but I've known a bit though the library book club. I had an excuse to write space lesbians and I took my chance, writing a space lesbian pilot script with three plots because shows always seem to have too many things going on. The teacher gave me really nice feedback and it just made me so happy. English this year has sucked so badly, with me having to write god awful stuff to get a good grade, and being forced stuff I dislike, even when I can do it better my style. Getting a full grade with nice comments on something I really enjoyed writing was an amazing change, even if it was on the literal last assignment of the year.
Screw Driving Class
Jun. 10th, 2021 06:14 pmForgot to post this last night.
I bloody hate my driving class so much. My teacher tells so many stories that take twice as long as needed to get the point across, and often end with someone he knows dead. Today is the drugs and alcohol unit. This is my third drugs and alcohol unit, since I took Psychology and Health this year, and both had that unit. I really don't want to go over how neurotransmitters work again or the fact that you can only have a certain amount of beer safely before you'll get sick.
He just said we're gonna talk about the science, and oh boy do I want nothing less. I took that AP Psychology exam, I studied those effects, I don't want to deal with them for a while. The little good news is that we skipped the evil death video about texting and driving that we normally have to watch. I have learned the difference between DUI and DWI which was something I never understood. And now we are talking about genetics. Joys. I already know we can't change what we're born with.
Peer pressure doesn't work if it's never worked. And my god I have no idea what alcohol is called. A mimosa is a drink with alcohol same as beer. I dunno the difference between them. I would much rather have a lemonade. I understand why it's important but I wish there was an option for people who were already terrified of driving. Plus, I'm not gonna go to any frat party, I can barely stand a non-alcoholic party. I'd rather stay in my dorm and read or hide in the library.
"People will be up and drinking at 7:30 on Friday." I spent so long wondering why the hell people were drinking for Shabbat when you weren't supposed to do that and also weren't Jewish before I realized it was something else. Then I realized I had no clue what it was. Apparently there's a special drinking thing on Thursdays which leaves people hung over on Friday? Not particularly interesting.
We are now on the opioid epidemic. Which is a problem the government is just turning around in a circle instead of trying to help. I already know that opioids are pain relievers, and why so many people like them. And are we surprised the Health Care industry are jerks? Now is the scary video! This time about opioids. I feel like you should be able to sue hospitals for prescribing addicting drugs without any heavy regulations, and especially when someone overdoses from them. The war on drugs, oh god. I don't want to go talking about this. It's racist, yes, I know that. For-profit prisons have come up. I just want to learn how to drive damn it.
This has been Health class all over again, and just like Health class, I don't care. I have better things I could be doing, and honestly should be doing. Like reading or finishing my last Comp Sci. Instead I'm learning that eating weed is more potent than smoking it. I knew that, just like how I know smoking it gives a quicker effect.
I bloody hate my driving class so much. My teacher tells so many stories that take twice as long as needed to get the point across, and often end with someone he knows dead. Today is the drugs and alcohol unit. This is my third drugs and alcohol unit, since I took Psychology and Health this year, and both had that unit. I really don't want to go over how neurotransmitters work again or the fact that you can only have a certain amount of beer safely before you'll get sick.
He just said we're gonna talk about the science, and oh boy do I want nothing less. I took that AP Psychology exam, I studied those effects, I don't want to deal with them for a while. The little good news is that we skipped the evil death video about texting and driving that we normally have to watch. I have learned the difference between DUI and DWI which was something I never understood. And now we are talking about genetics. Joys. I already know we can't change what we're born with.
Peer pressure doesn't work if it's never worked. And my god I have no idea what alcohol is called. A mimosa is a drink with alcohol same as beer. I dunno the difference between them. I would much rather have a lemonade. I understand why it's important but I wish there was an option for people who were already terrified of driving. Plus, I'm not gonna go to any frat party, I can barely stand a non-alcoholic party. I'd rather stay in my dorm and read or hide in the library.
"People will be up and drinking at 7:30 on Friday." I spent so long wondering why the hell people were drinking for Shabbat when you weren't supposed to do that and also weren't Jewish before I realized it was something else. Then I realized I had no clue what it was. Apparently there's a special drinking thing on Thursdays which leaves people hung over on Friday? Not particularly interesting.
We are now on the opioid epidemic. Which is a problem the government is just turning around in a circle instead of trying to help. I already know that opioids are pain relievers, and why so many people like them. And are we surprised the Health Care industry are jerks? Now is the scary video! This time about opioids. I feel like you should be able to sue hospitals for prescribing addicting drugs without any heavy regulations, and especially when someone overdoses from them. The war on drugs, oh god. I don't want to go talking about this. It's racist, yes, I know that. For-profit prisons have come up. I just want to learn how to drive damn it.
This has been Health class all over again, and just like Health class, I don't care. I have better things I could be doing, and honestly should be doing. Like reading or finishing my last Comp Sci. Instead I'm learning that eating weed is more potent than smoking it. I knew that, just like how I know smoking it gives a quicker effect.
Oh the fun of impending AP Exams. I got Psych on the 20th, Comp Sci on the 26th, and Gov. on the 3rd. Comp Sci portfolio has been done and fully submitted, don't got to worry about that anymore thank the heavens. I'm planning to study for Gov and Psych tomorrow with a friend, and I'm pretty confident about Comp Sci. It's kind of terrifying though. Psych exam. In two days. Ah! And school is ending Jun 16th. That's 28 days. And Ariella is coming over on the 30th! It's going to be such a hectic month. I'm getting a lot of stress writing done though. Lots and lots of angst.
I have had my third English teacher this for three classes and I have already cemented myself as the person who talks. We had a discussion during class and no one was talking, so I answered. I then stayed quiet for the next question to let other people talk. No one else did and so the teacher called on me, and I answered. The same thing happened for another question. I told my teacher that I wasn't answering to let others answer and they replied they knew but I was the only person that was replying.
Related to this, I've had three English teachers this year, all different genders. My first one was male, second female, third non-binary. Kind of impressive, the number as well.
Related to this, I've had three English teachers this year, all different genders. My first one was male, second female, third non-binary. Kind of impressive, the number as well.
Something I Find Fun
May. 2nd, 2021 03:32 pm Wondering what teachers think of me is always fun. Sometimes they tell me when we're talking about other stuff. Me and Owen we're talking with my Sociology teacher and she mentioned a mock exam yesterday, and I told her I might not be able to make it because I had lots of other plans that day. She told me that I managed my time well and could trust me to do the mock exam on my own. (I did it earlier today.) She's not the first teacher to me this. I had my APUSH teacher tell me this as well. I manage my time horribly. I don't understand how I get everything done on time. By all logic I should be failing my classes and missing all my work, so I find it hilarious that everyone thinks I manage my time well. I've also had people say that I march to my own beat and stuff, and that works better. I do do that, like wearing neon pink pants, a shirt with a Peanuts design, and a leather jacket, as well as not giving a care as to who thinks what of me. Just something I find fun.
Sociology Textbook
Mar. 30th, 2021 10:33 am My sociology textbook is not helpful. It's assuming I know nothing about society. There is a learning objective in it that says, "Provide examples of how Americans may not be as “free” as they think." I'm not a professional, but I'm pretty sure I can explain how poverty traps families and how societal norms constrict people. Then we get this quote, "We vote in secret so that our choice of a candidate is made freely and without fear of punishment. That is all true, but it is also possible to guess the candidate for whom any one individual will vote if enough is known about the individual." Or you could just look for the party they are associated with? If they're not registered as an individual, you can guess they'll vote for their candidate. This textbook feels like it was written for someone who doesn't understand society at all.
So far I quite like the debunking motif, which is basically the idea that sociology looks for the inconvenient and unconventional truths in society, like racism. Apparently there's a nicer name for social inequality called Vertical Social Structure. That makes it sound all neat and tidy, when it's really not. Sometimes you gotta use the dirty word when referring to society. At first I was dubious of personal vs. public problems, but when actually explained I quite like them. Personal problems are ones that can be attributed to a person, and the example they gave is unemployment. When the problem is small, only a few people unemployed, that can be ascribed as their fault. But when it's millions of people it's the publics problem, because there are many people who can and do want to work. It wasn't the people's fault there wasn't work available, it was the public as a whole's fault. I am now getting examples showing identical twins, and now I feel the need to throw the Psych textbook at this one. Because there's a scary amount of genetics that decide our personality. Do approve of the textbook saying crime is mostly societies fault and not the individuals though. Willian Ryan pointed out Americans blame the victims instead of the system and oh my gosh. How the heck do I get the guy to talk to all those idiots who believe poverty and stuff is a personal failing?
I really don't like Conflict Theory. I feel like it makes a lot of assumptions about people and conflicts, that aren't always the case. Rational Choice Theory aka Utilitarism actually sounds like it could be a sound theory based on the base, but it also needs a lot of work to understand how humans work. All these theories kind of assume humans are predictable, and most of the time they are, but big change comes when something unpredictable happens. Oh did it just try to talk to me about Lord of The Flies? Heck no. That was a sucky book that is one of the least realistic books I have ever seen. That is not how kids act. One guy is trying to explain how no social norms leads to more suicide. He's a bit of a crackpot. Less social norms is what we need. Though we should keep the don't act like a jerk bits. And he just tried to say that because Catholic's doctrine specifically condemns suicide that explains why Protestants have a higher suicide rate. If someone is gonna die, I really don't think they're afraid of the consequences. This Functionalist theory compares society to our body, and unless your body is constantly breaking, doesn't work with itself, and is never truly working, I don't think it is, though now that I say that I do know someone who's like that. Oh, apparently Carl Marx wanted the fall of capitalism. Pretty good goal to have. The more I read the more good ideas Marx has about capitalism and what it's doing to American society. The textbook almost just said propaganda that the American system is just is what's keeping the working class from revolting. At least, I hope that's what it was trying to say, because it's true.
And chapter thankfully done. Now I get to watch Crash Course which I absolutely hate. Way too bloody fast for me.
Then this paragraph is just statistics. I don't understand what is being proven here! "To illustrate this point, consider the 2008 presidential election between Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain. Suppose a room is filled with 100 randomly selected voters from that election. Nothing is known about them except that they were between 18 and 24 years of age when they voted. Because exit poll data found that Obama won 66% of the vote from people in this age group (http://abcnews.go.com/PollingUnit/ExitPolls), a prediction that each of these 100 individuals voted for Obama would be correct about 66 times and incorrect only 34 times. Someone betting $1 on each prediction would come out $32 ahead ($66 – $34 = $32), even though the only thing known about the people in the room is their age. " Oh gosh. The textbook is going on to say that Americans are free but also restrained because of this data and no? They're not? The data exists *because* the people voted that way, not because people voted that way due to the data. Just asked me why I don't face the back of an elevator while riding it. Because then I couldn't see the door open and floor number? That's a societal norm because it's coinvent to be able to see which floor it is, not because everyone else is doing it. I feel like by taking Sociology and Psychology at the same time, I'm just breaking everything. Only a chapter in and we've already gotten to the statistic that men succeed in more suicides than women though woman are more depressed due to the fact men are more likely to use firearms. Fun facts.
So far I quite like the debunking motif, which is basically the idea that sociology looks for the inconvenient and unconventional truths in society, like racism. Apparently there's a nicer name for social inequality called Vertical Social Structure. That makes it sound all neat and tidy, when it's really not. Sometimes you gotta use the dirty word when referring to society. At first I was dubious of personal vs. public problems, but when actually explained I quite like them. Personal problems are ones that can be attributed to a person, and the example they gave is unemployment. When the problem is small, only a few people unemployed, that can be ascribed as their fault. But when it's millions of people it's the publics problem, because there are many people who can and do want to work. It wasn't the people's fault there wasn't work available, it was the public as a whole's fault. I am now getting examples showing identical twins, and now I feel the need to throw the Psych textbook at this one. Because there's a scary amount of genetics that decide our personality. Do approve of the textbook saying crime is mostly societies fault and not the individuals though. Willian Ryan pointed out Americans blame the victims instead of the system and oh my gosh. How the heck do I get the guy to talk to all those idiots who believe poverty and stuff is a personal failing?
I really don't like Conflict Theory. I feel like it makes a lot of assumptions about people and conflicts, that aren't always the case. Rational Choice Theory aka Utilitarism actually sounds like it could be a sound theory based on the base, but it also needs a lot of work to understand how humans work. All these theories kind of assume humans are predictable, and most of the time they are, but big change comes when something unpredictable happens. Oh did it just try to talk to me about Lord of The Flies? Heck no. That was a sucky book that is one of the least realistic books I have ever seen. That is not how kids act. One guy is trying to explain how no social norms leads to more suicide. He's a bit of a crackpot. Less social norms is what we need. Though we should keep the don't act like a jerk bits. And he just tried to say that because Catholic's doctrine specifically condemns suicide that explains why Protestants have a higher suicide rate. If someone is gonna die, I really don't think they're afraid of the consequences. This Functionalist theory compares society to our body, and unless your body is constantly breaking, doesn't work with itself, and is never truly working, I don't think it is, though now that I say that I do know someone who's like that. Oh, apparently Carl Marx wanted the fall of capitalism. Pretty good goal to have. The more I read the more good ideas Marx has about capitalism and what it's doing to American society. The textbook almost just said propaganda that the American system is just is what's keeping the working class from revolting. At least, I hope that's what it was trying to say, because it's true.
And chapter thankfully done. Now I get to watch Crash Course which I absolutely hate. Way too bloody fast for me.
Wow, I really should have been writing some more, but nothing particularly interesting happened. In Comp Sci I beat a coding problem that I had trouble with before. Got it down in twenty minutes which I'm still proud of. In Gov. we had a socratic seminar which I think went pretty well. We agreed the US government sucks really badly. Experimental Jazz is a thing apparently, and actually kinda good. I have to make a PSA, except I have to do it from a list of topics they give me, which is really annoying. If they had any faith in my at all I'd be able to choose my own topic. I'm watching this new show called Omniscient and it's a thriller about a girl who's father was murdered in a city where everyone is watched. It's definitely more mature, but I'm liking it so far.
I don't have a fifth period today, so I got some Psych work done that I needed to do. I'm reading some more of the Magnus Archives and am on 134. I really don't like the Extinction. It's an apocalypses and I have the really bad feeling it's gonna come through. This is one of the reasons I'm reading instead of listening to it. It's easier to not get freaked out. Poor Martin. He needs some hugs. And oh gosh! He's getting some backbone! Peter is also clearly fed up with Sims incompetence, which is honestly completely fair. And Martin is standing up for Sims. That's so cute. Aw, Martin was the one throwing tape recorders down to help. Sims needs to realize how much of an idiot he is and give Martin what he deserves. Episode 125 looks really interesting. We finally get the third Daedalus person and hopefully Sims realizing he's an idiot. Manuela is certainly a piece of work. I know I'm supposed to know who Maxwell Rayner is, but I don't have a clue at all. It mentioned two of the other weird families, so I guess that explains why such weird stuff was going on. And it's time for Psych.
I had to explain what fanfic was to my teacher. Quite an interesting way to start the day. As well as my friend, let's call her Rosie, asked me where I was sitting since I have my camera on. My walls all look the same, so no matter where I sit my background looks almost identical. I am not sitting on my bed, I have a weird foam fold-out thing I sit on instead. We are also back to the nature vs. nurture, this time involving intelligence. One good thing that we're talking about is Growth Mindset. You can learn people. Take the time to try something new and practice, because your brain is a muscle. Try try again. Took my test and got an 8/10, which is good enough for me, considering the two I got wrong were two I was confused on. I understand my friend wants more time, but she needs to realize that we aren't going to have that much time on the AP test, so she's gotta realize that and deal with it.
Ok, I just had the most embarrassing encounter ever. I was talking with Owen after Psych again, eating lunch, doing normal stuff. My Sapta brought over michloach manot, which are gift baskets for Purim, which is today. I made a reference to being sad about not being able to make hamentaschen this year, when Owen asks what they are. I get really confused because I brought them in last year. We talk a bit more before I realize, this is a different Owen. He's not the guy I sat next to in English. In fact, I never had any interaction with this guy before going into online schooling. I've been talking to him with a familiarity and he had no clue who I was. We spent a good half an hour just in utter disbelief. I can't believe it. I thought he was my friend! I mean, I did think it was a bit weird we hit it off so well, and his voice was deeper than I remembered, but both things were easily dismissible because of the switch to being online. I just can't believe myself. Chemistry is happening now but I'm not over it.
Chem went by fine. I did the problems. Nothing particularly interesting happening in Homeroom. We played Name That Tune, which is really fun. The first one we did was mostly Bruno Mars and Katey Perry, which is my jam, so that was fun. It's time to get ready for Shabbat now, so I guess that's end of this for today.
I had to explain what fanfic was to my teacher. Quite an interesting way to start the day. As well as my friend, let's call her Rosie, asked me where I was sitting since I have my camera on. My walls all look the same, so no matter where I sit my background looks almost identical. I am not sitting on my bed, I have a weird foam fold-out thing I sit on instead. We are also back to the nature vs. nurture, this time involving intelligence. One good thing that we're talking about is Growth Mindset. You can learn people. Take the time to try something new and practice, because your brain is a muscle. Try try again. Took my test and got an 8/10, which is good enough for me, considering the two I got wrong were two I was confused on. I understand my friend wants more time, but she needs to realize that we aren't going to have that much time on the AP test, so she's gotta realize that and deal with it.
Ok, I just had the most embarrassing encounter ever. I was talking with Owen after Psych again, eating lunch, doing normal stuff. My Sapta brought over michloach manot, which are gift baskets for Purim, which is today. I made a reference to being sad about not being able to make hamentaschen this year, when Owen asks what they are. I get really confused because I brought them in last year. We talk a bit more before I realize, this is a different Owen. He's not the guy I sat next to in English. In fact, I never had any interaction with this guy before going into online schooling. I've been talking to him with a familiarity and he had no clue who I was. We spent a good half an hour just in utter disbelief. I can't believe it. I thought he was my friend! I mean, I did think it was a bit weird we hit it off so well, and his voice was deeper than I remembered, but both things were easily dismissible because of the switch to being online. I just can't believe myself. Chemistry is happening now but I'm not over it.
Chem went by fine. I did the problems. Nothing particularly interesting happening in Homeroom. We played Name That Tune, which is really fun. The first one we did was mostly Bruno Mars and Katey Perry, which is my jam, so that was fun. It's time to get ready for Shabbat now, so I guess that's end of this for today.
2/23/21-Part two
Feb. 23rd, 2021 08:34 pm I got through Hebrew School a lot easier than I thought I would. We had a guest speaker who was talking about Judaism and LGBTQ+. Usually it's pretty both and stuff, but he was a good speaker. I did get distracted and go off and do other stuff though, but that's more because I knew most of what he was saying. I got the rest of bH's present written because I forgot her birthday was tomorrow! I'm gonna have to type that up tomorrow as well, because I have passed the point of me making sense. I also came up with a D&D idea though. Everyone is a Jew, and they all have to work together to get ready for a holiday, I'm thinking Passover because that would be the holiday that involves the most stuff, though Sukkot could also be fun. There are a whole bunch of tasks that need to get done, like making the food, setting the table, throwing out the hametz. But of course things get in your way, like annoying aunts and uncles, no one ever being where they're supposed to, and even just cooking in general. I feel like it could be really fun. And Purim! Purim is in two days! We always invite a whole bunch of people over to make hamentaschen but I guess we aren't doing that this year. Very sadly. I guess I'll just share a bunch of stories about past years this year. Now I gotta start getting ready for bed.
2/23/21-Part one
Feb. 23rd, 2021 09:15 am First post! Exciting! Nothing much to say, just what's happened today.
Well, I managed to scare myself while typing up a story. I've found writing Isaac from Paranatural having the same fears really helps at times. The hard part is that for most stories I write them twice, first on paper and then type them up. This is all well and dandy, and helps when I leave out important words, it's not particularly fun when I get to revisit really big fears and such. But there's Isabel and Isaac fluff later, so it gets better. Isabel and Isaac fluff always makes things better. I also have a super secret Kyuranger project I'm working on. I'm really excited about it, and I hope I can actually write it, since sometimes I plan stuff out and then feel like I can't write it. It's gonna be a lot but I'm really excited about it. Totodile over on Discord helped a whole bunch. They are so hecking awesome.
Psych class is so meh. It has the chance to be awesome and fun, especially with the people I have in my class. I love them so much. Then we had to do a Kahoot type thing. I hate them so bloody much. They stress me out to no end, because they're timed and often I would argue with the answers. We also don't particularly learn anything, since we just go over the chapter we've read beforehand. We're also doing this weird thing where a student teaches us about some terms. We've only had it done once before and I found it eh. It was Owen though, and I like him, and it got us chatting about Sudoku, so that was a point. Speaking of I have a sudoku from him to fight with. We'll see what happens with that. Kid keeps getting disconnected and is all staticy. Not gonna be fun. We are talking about Down Syndrome, which is a good thing. There was a video about a golfer and she seemed really happy. Correlation does not mean causation folks. We are now talking about serial killers. She's into true crime, and that's a good thing, but we don't need to learn about them in the short hour we have in class. twins are certainly interesting to learn about, and how similar they can be even when raised apart. Me and a friend are sending snarky comments to each other during class, because it's really not interesting, and it's the best. Snarky snark about the not very good teacher. We're gonna learn more about mental disorders, which is good, because that's what I mind most interesting about Psych. Friends are talking about ethics. So much better than the class. We're talking about a whole bunch of random stuff and it's making me really happy. The small group that's here is such an awesome group. I could talk with them for hours. Ended up talking about D&D which is awesome. We're just ranting and talking about whatever and I love this so much.
We talked so much none of us really had time to get lunch, but I think that was really ok for me. It was nice to talk to them for a while, as if we were in the building. Especially the guy. We had a weird relationship, and it's always good to know that he feels the same way I do. Good sarcasm buddies. And the whole thing happened because both of them wanted to tell me something after class which I must admit made me feels loved. A few minutes into our discussion out teacher in the zoom muted herself and turned off her camera and we all assumed she left. Spoiler alert, she didn't. We were all talking about leaving since we realized how late it was when she unmuted and turned her camera back on and said we talked about interesting stuff. Not that we were talking about anything she would disapprove of, we just didn't realize she was there.
Chemistry always starts with a joke. Today's was What's A Chemist's Favorite Type Of Music? There were two answers, Heavy Metal and Rock 'n Mole. We don't have Homeroom today due to a suicide prevention thing, during which time I am certain I will be typing here a whole bunch. Talking about suicide just makes me cry. I really enjoy my Chemistry teachers though. At least I get to spend more time with them. We're splitting into two groups to have both teachers teaching, which makes sense. I hope I'm in the room that has no clue how to do dimensional analysis, because I don't understand it in the slightest. I shouldn't be that bad at it, it's basically just baking, and yet I can't seem to get it. I thought the breakout room of six people was really small before I remembered we only have fifteenish people in the class. We are a tiny class. Ratios are going to be the death of me. Especially here. dimensional analysis is being explained, and my gosh, why is there so much canceling out? It's like fractions but extended. After learning about them again I change my statement. It's like adding ratios to fractions. I very much do not like the method, though the method I'm doing is probably really complicated. On the brightside I've been getting the right answers lately, so that's good.
I'm sure the counseling department thought it was a nice idea to have them available during the Signs of Suicide Homeroom lesson, except I hate my counselor. There are so many more teachers I would rather talk to than any of them. Heck, this is almost exactly the reason I'm starting up this diary. As a place to talk through stuff that I struggle with or things that would make me cry talking out loud. Instead I'm going to use this time to tell a story. And maybe write a bit about how Isaac attempting suicide would fit with his character and also make me really sad. A few years ago I was talking with a friend, and she mentioned being worried about one of her friends. I didn't even know the kid. She had noticed that her friend was wearing longer sleeves more often, and thought she saw cuts on her arms. I told my friend she could tell a counselor, because better a false alarm than it actually being something. My friend was too scared to go, so I asked if she'd go if I was moral support. She said yes, so that lunch period we went to the counselor and told them. I never did find out what happened to the kid, but my friend never brought it back up, so I'm hopeful that it was a false alarm, or she got the help she needed. That took a lot less time to type than I thought it would because I'm a fast typer. So, Isaac. My child. I love him but he needs some help. In comic he's just so full of self-hatred. It's good to see Isabel slowly opening up to him. He needs people to open up to, and to open up to him. Hopefully we'll see more of that happening, and hopefully he'll find a way to manage his anger. There are two things I could see happening with him, both of which are really sad. He's already tried to leave the club but come back because of Isabel, but I'm scared he's going to leave again after he learns a bunch of stuff because of how he disagrees with it. I'm also scared he might attempt suicide, because he has the anger, he feels he has all the reasons too. So many things could go wrong. And I ended up writing another part of my Triggers series. There's now a story about body image, zombie apocalypses, AND suicide. It's just a bundle of joy.
Well, I managed to scare myself while typing up a story. I've found writing Isaac from Paranatural having the same fears really helps at times. The hard part is that for most stories I write them twice, first on paper and then type them up. This is all well and dandy, and helps when I leave out important words, it's not particularly fun when I get to revisit really big fears and such. But there's Isabel and Isaac fluff later, so it gets better. Isabel and Isaac fluff always makes things better. I also have a super secret Kyuranger project I'm working on. I'm really excited about it, and I hope I can actually write it, since sometimes I plan stuff out and then feel like I can't write it. It's gonna be a lot but I'm really excited about it. Totodile over on Discord helped a whole bunch. They are so hecking awesome.
Psych class is so meh. It has the chance to be awesome and fun, especially with the people I have in my class. I love them so much. Then we had to do a Kahoot type thing. I hate them so bloody much. They stress me out to no end, because they're timed and often I would argue with the answers. We also don't particularly learn anything, since we just go over the chapter we've read beforehand. We're also doing this weird thing where a student teaches us about some terms. We've only had it done once before and I found it eh. It was Owen though, and I like him, and it got us chatting about Sudoku, so that was a point. Speaking of I have a sudoku from him to fight with. We'll see what happens with that. Kid keeps getting disconnected and is all staticy. Not gonna be fun. We are talking about Down Syndrome, which is a good thing. There was a video about a golfer and she seemed really happy. Correlation does not mean causation folks. We are now talking about serial killers. She's into true crime, and that's a good thing, but we don't need to learn about them in the short hour we have in class. twins are certainly interesting to learn about, and how similar they can be even when raised apart. Me and a friend are sending snarky comments to each other during class, because it's really not interesting, and it's the best. Snarky snark about the not very good teacher. We're gonna learn more about mental disorders, which is good, because that's what I mind most interesting about Psych. Friends are talking about ethics. So much better than the class. We're talking about a whole bunch of random stuff and it's making me really happy. The small group that's here is such an awesome group. I could talk with them for hours. Ended up talking about D&D which is awesome. We're just ranting and talking about whatever and I love this so much.
We talked so much none of us really had time to get lunch, but I think that was really ok for me. It was nice to talk to them for a while, as if we were in the building. Especially the guy. We had a weird relationship, and it's always good to know that he feels the same way I do. Good sarcasm buddies. And the whole thing happened because both of them wanted to tell me something after class which I must admit made me feels loved. A few minutes into our discussion out teacher in the zoom muted herself and turned off her camera and we all assumed she left. Spoiler alert, she didn't. We were all talking about leaving since we realized how late it was when she unmuted and turned her camera back on and said we talked about interesting stuff. Not that we were talking about anything she would disapprove of, we just didn't realize she was there.
Chemistry always starts with a joke. Today's was What's A Chemist's Favorite Type Of Music? There were two answers, Heavy Metal and Rock 'n Mole. We don't have Homeroom today due to a suicide prevention thing, during which time I am certain I will be typing here a whole bunch. Talking about suicide just makes me cry. I really enjoy my Chemistry teachers though. At least I get to spend more time with them. We're splitting into two groups to have both teachers teaching, which makes sense. I hope I'm in the room that has no clue how to do dimensional analysis, because I don't understand it in the slightest. I shouldn't be that bad at it, it's basically just baking, and yet I can't seem to get it. I thought the breakout room of six people was really small before I remembered we only have fifteenish people in the class. We are a tiny class. Ratios are going to be the death of me. Especially here. dimensional analysis is being explained, and my gosh, why is there so much canceling out? It's like fractions but extended. After learning about them again I change my statement. It's like adding ratios to fractions. I very much do not like the method, though the method I'm doing is probably really complicated. On the brightside I've been getting the right answers lately, so that's good.
I'm sure the counseling department thought it was a nice idea to have them available during the Signs of Suicide Homeroom lesson, except I hate my counselor. There are so many more teachers I would rather talk to than any of them. Heck, this is almost exactly the reason I'm starting up this diary. As a place to talk through stuff that I struggle with or things that would make me cry talking out loud. Instead I'm going to use this time to tell a story. And maybe write a bit about how Isaac attempting suicide would fit with his character and also make me really sad. A few years ago I was talking with a friend, and she mentioned being worried about one of her friends. I didn't even know the kid. She had noticed that her friend was wearing longer sleeves more often, and thought she saw cuts on her arms. I told my friend she could tell a counselor, because better a false alarm than it actually being something. My friend was too scared to go, so I asked if she'd go if I was moral support. She said yes, so that lunch period we went to the counselor and told them. I never did find out what happened to the kid, but my friend never brought it back up, so I'm hopeful that it was a false alarm, or she got the help she needed. That took a lot less time to type than I thought it would because I'm a fast typer. So, Isaac. My child. I love him but he needs some help. In comic he's just so full of self-hatred. It's good to see Isabel slowly opening up to him. He needs people to open up to, and to open up to him. Hopefully we'll see more of that happening, and hopefully he'll find a way to manage his anger. There are two things I could see happening with him, both of which are really sad. He's already tried to leave the club but come back because of Isabel, but I'm scared he's going to leave again after he learns a bunch of stuff because of how he disagrees with it. I'm also scared he might attempt suicide, because he has the anger, he feels he has all the reasons too. So many things could go wrong. And I ended up writing another part of my Triggers series. There's now a story about body image, zombie apocalypses, AND suicide. It's just a bundle of joy.
