idontgettechnology:
idontgettechnology:
Super weird to have innocuously added a silly personal anecdote to a post you didn’t realize was super popular…
Only to have it cross your dash a week later and find out that like 12,000 people think you’re lying.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Okay so since this hasn’t died yet, I feel like I have to add to it. The story re: my dept. lead also being on Tumblr and us outing each other with the sacred texts is like, one of the least weird/that sounds fake things that’s ever happened to me.
Some of the greatest hits include:
-Was taken to the military funeral of a total stranger in the swamp lands of Louisiana by another total stranger when I thought I was going to a work meeting. (A funeral that ended with the words ‘Sombitch y'all done shot MeeMaw!’)
-Asked Zac Efron to take a photo with me in 2008 and then getting so flustered that I asked 'Do you want to use my camera or yours?’ (he was very nice and said 'Why don’t we use yours.’)
-Was dressed exactly the same as every single person in my company (not in a company uniform, we were all dressed like our IT guy) when we were raided by the FBI.
-Got asked out at my mother’s funeral.
-Signed an autograph as Kat Dennings to a VERY drunk man at the Nashville Airport just to get him to leave me alone.
-Attended my husband’s 15th high school reunion alone and entirely by accident.
-Had a man come into my cafe and harass my employees and when I told him to leave he got up in my face and said 'I can gut you like a fucking fish.’ And with my utter lack of will to live, I said, without blinking or moving, 'You can try.’
-Acted as maid of honor and gave a wedding toast for a couple I did not know because the bride was desperate to not have her awful sister have the microphone and ruin everything.
…
I mean.
Since @grimeysociety asked, I shall expound upon the tale of being raided by the FBI.
Back in 2018, I started working for a whole body donation center. If you don’t know what that is, it’s when someone decides to donate their bodies to science, we’re like 'Yeah, hi, we’ll take it.’
This company was very much on the up-and-up. We had pristine medical facilities, quarterly state inspections, all the right certifications, the whole nine. HOWEVER that’s not the case for every whole body donation center in the country.
(If you’re considering donation, it’s a wonderful gift, but PLEASE research the company you’re planning to use.)
Keep reading
Imagine that you are an FBI investigator and you have heard all of the horror stories about Frankenstein’s for-profit nightmare factory. Your co-workers have talked about it, there have been team meetings about being respectful of people’s trauma and counseling services available, hell maybe you were there. And now you’re getting ready to raid another facility which might be the same. You go to sleep the night before wondering if you’re going to find a perfectly ordinary office or if you’re going to have nightmares for for the rest of your life about what you find.
And then you walk into the facility and it’s perfectly clean. Everything in order, paperwork filed, nothing amiss.
Except every single fucking person in the entire building is wearing the exact same outfit, from their beanies down to their shoes. Like you walked into a movie theater which you knew was either going to be playing The Human Centipede or Gray’s Anatomy, and it’s playing Gray’s Anatomy but also every single seat is occupied by a mannequin with its head turned towards the entrance.
I wonder if they thought they’d accidentally walked into a cult, some new and special way for things to be fucked up.